Change

There have been times in my life where change has been thrust upon me.

There have also been times when I have purposely made a change.

Then there are times when you know something has to change, but you are not quite sure how to go about it. This is where I'm at.

Praying for change is scary at times. It doesn't come with comfy feelings. In fact, for me, it makes me nervous. It's amazing how many negative thoughts I had about myself today while I was getting ready for a job interview. I had to stop myself. This is the devil trying to defeat me. Trying to pull down every success before it even happens. I have been speaking scripture all day. The last thing the devil wants is to see me succeed. So, I have learned to expect these "attacks" on my self esteem, and I am coming out with my spiritual guns blazing.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

I do believe that. I know a lot of people do. But the point I think a lot of us miss is that this is being done daily. God is prospering us daily, if we let Him.  It might take a while to get to where we think we are supposed to be but that doesn't mean we are not on the right track.

 Faith. Just faith. I can do that.

I think that I have used a lot of excuses to justify my behavior. I have been doing too many things that I can, and not enough things that I should. But, I know that what I should do is not worry about it. Circumstances are gonna mess up your life no matter what. It's how you deal with it that is the true test of character. God has never let me down before. There is no reason to worry. When we worry, I think it hurts God's feelings because really what we're saying is, "I don't trust you".  I don't want God to think for one second that I don't trust him!  So, each time a negative thought comes into my head, or I get a little uncomfortable with life, I just say "LORD! That's not me!" and He always says , "Yeah, I know." I know that He loves me in spite of my negative self. He allows me to view myself with a great sense of humor and I am grateful. I just kinda laugh at some of the thoughts in my head. But, I think that's progress. :-)