Fear

     We live in a wild and unpredictable world. Human beings are becoming less and less affected by chaos because we think its normal. But really, what we are doing is compartmentalizing our situations with the purpose of "dealing with them" later. The ultimate procrastination. I didn't realize I was doing this. But I was. I've been doing it my whole life.
   
   I had an epiphany recently. It's weird to say this now, but I just realized that my main mode of operation is fear. Yes, fear. That might strike you as an oddity, if you don't know me well, but it's true. I remember, as a young person, I was described as shy. I always hated that description and was embarrassed by it. I'm not shy, just mild mannered, keep my mouth shut most of the time. But, I would go so far to say that I am timid. I sometimes have to force myself to do things socially. 

   When I was in highschool, we had to attend chapel every Wednesday morning. We would always recite the school verse.   Proverbs 9:10;  "The fear of the Lord is the begining of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding" This is the kind of fear that means great reverence and respect. I began to wonder why, after reciting this verse, week after week, year after year; I fear everything that I shouldn't. I knew the words, I just wasn't grasping the deep message in this verse. God only wants us to fear Him. Nothing else is worth it. There should be no fears when we have Him. Knowing Him helps me to understand who I am in this world.

   "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of love, and of power and of a self   discipline"  II Timothy 1:7 

   So, even though I know I'm not perfect. I am taking a stand against fear. It has no place in my life. My compartments are full. It's time to take the trash out.