Today I need to vent. I need to scream. I have been feeling like that a lot lately. Going through a separation and divorce sucks. This one, (my second by the way) is difficult because the scenarios are reversed. I was left first, and now I'm the one leaving. This is a rough spot. I am weary of it. I don't recommend either spot to be honest with you because they both suck. I won't go into personal details out of respect. I will continue to take the high road. But I am facing some heartbreaking decisions, and lately they have been coming at me at a speed that I am battered by.
So I take all of my worries to God and I lay them at his feet , I let go of all the things that are overwhelming me and then I gain the strength to get by. To have mental energy. I had a friend on Facebook recently post about his struggles with depression and anxiety. I admired his admission and saying things that I could relate to like not wanting to get out of bed because thats when the anxiety begins. It takes focus and sometimes medication. just to get through a day without panic. That and lots of prayer.
Through it all I have received several blessings recently. I got a job, I got approved for MediCal so I can get free counseling and perscriptions, plus a few of my mates helped me out with my car and some legal advice and tax advice. It's great when friends are so helpful and knowledgeable in things I am not. These are all answers to my prayers.
I declare to God, I see these beautiful things and I thank you.
I am in the transition phase. the hardest phase, the one that comes with pain before something is rebirthed in me. the labor is strong. but the prize will be worth it.
I ask the Lord for a hedge of protection for the wounded hearts and the weary minds today.
Revive us again
We are strong because you are strong Lord
I am strong cause you are
Things are going to be fine, fine, fine
Amen
