Mabel - My friend

When I lived in Murrieta California.

I was living in a barn house above my sisters garage.

       We moved in with our 3 yr old pitbull, Molly dog. We thought, after a while, that she might like a friend. My husband and I had been on the look-out for a dog that Molly might like, and also one that we could rescue. We started out at a shelter in Lake Elsinore. We even brought Molly with us, because, we thought if we saw a dog we liked, they could meet. We walked around and saw two dogs that we wanted to introduce to Molly. I went into the office and filled out some papers so I could start the process. After I was done, the lady told me that they would not allow a dog to be adopted into a home that has a pitbull. I learned later that this shelter, has a very low tolerance for pits, and euthanizes them regularly. So, we waited. The right dog would come along.
      About 2 weeks later, I went into town. I was going to Big Lots in Murrieta. They happened to be right next door to a Petsmart. They were having an adoption event. As I was walking into the store I looked to my right and I saw this black and white dog (like Molly) curled up in a pen. I walked over to the pen. This lady immediately walked up to me and said, "Would you like me to take her out out so you can see her?" I said yes and she took her out. She immediately rolled over and showed me her freckled belly, begging for love. So, I called my husband, and said " I have found our dog." I just knew that Molly and Jerry would love her.

 Long story short...... Molly didn't quite love her, but they got along very well. Jerry found a companion that could keep up with his energy, and I found my shadow. I guess this girl just never forgot that I am the one who took her out of the cage. She was the most loyal to me. I am just realizing, now that shes gone, what an outstanding friend she was.

I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes, and it brings me great comfort.....

    "God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe she'll be there."  ( Billy Graham )
 
Rest in peace Mabel face.

Annie on the brain

Preparing for an audition takes on a totally different feeling when you are going for a  part you REALLY want. I am getting reacquainted with Miss Hannigan. Remembering what shes about is easy. I grew up listening to the Annie broadway soundtrack recording...on 8 track tape no less, so of course I knew every song. You can't fast forward an 8 track. My mom made several musical soundtrack selections from her Columbia House music membership. Among them Jesus Christ Superstar and the movie, American Graffiti. I know all those songs too. It was different with the Annie soundtrack. These were girls, my age, on Broadway! I don't know a girl in the theatre who didn't want to be Annie. But, alas, there is only a very short window of time in which a gal could tackle the part.

       In the late 80's I auditioned for Hannigan. I ended up being cast as Lily St. Regis, Roosters dim-witted accomplice. A great part, but, I want Hannigan. In the 90's I played Hannigan in a broadway review, we performed Easy Street, that was fun too. But I want to do the whole show! I kinda hate using the phrase "dream role" , but really it's one of many. Annie was my first dream role. I always thought a great concept for a musical review  would be ; "PARTS I WILL NEVER PLAY" .  Actually, I think it may have been done ala Forbidden Broadway.

   So, in 10 days I will have another chance to make it happen and I get to revisit a character and have a blast feeling like a kid singin in the living room. I love what I do.

Encouragement

When I go to auditions, I always wear an item that I think will bring me luck. Lately, I have been given a trinket from an old friend. My dear high school chum, sent me a bracelet, out of the blue. It's silver, with small theatre mask charms. I have worn it twice. I've been cast both times.

I think that all theatre people are a wee bit superstitious. I just do what feels good. Seemed like a good sign to me. In my early days, I remember wearing a pin with the cowardly lion on it. I would wear it on the inside of my collar, so that only I could see it. It reminded me to have courage.

Last year, when I jumped back in with both feet into the auditioning game, I wore a silver necklace with a bicycle charm. Because, I thought, its just like riding a bike, you just don't forget how to do it.

I have learned to summon my own courage...with the help of God, and remembering the encouragement I have received in my life.

I have learned, by the people who have encouraged me in my art, that it is the greatest gift you can give. Especially as a student actor. I recall many times, crystal clear in my mind, being centered and calmed by an encouraging word. The validation is soooo important to young people.

Having just finished working on a high school production of BARNUM, memories of my teachers are fresh in my mind. I find myself saying things to my students that were said to me. It's kinda strange, being on the other side. I have made an effort to be encouraging, in every instance. It has been a huge learning experience, blessing, and answer to prayer to get to work with these kids. I'm very grateful.

Storms

Theres a lot of crap going on, I'm not gonna lie.

The devil is up to his usual business of stealing my joy.

But I am good

I am riding the wave of life

Ups,  downs , small victories, it's all good.

God still knows what I want, We do still communicate in case anyone was wondering. :-)

He knows and He provides

Sometimes I need to knock myself in the head to get my own attention

But His presense is never ending

I have noticed lately that my journey is mine

Only mine

I love it

It's like a ride

I wonder whats coming next

Observation

            It's a small world. But the theatre world is even smaller. It's amazing how many people are connected by a show, a director, a teacher, a character; and because of this, we are all related. I enjoy getting to know new people when you do a show. By the end of the run, you uncover unforgettable stories, backstage performances and improvs, and shop talk. You even gain new imaginary family members.  The cool thing is, that relationship never goes away after you end a show. You are connected forever. It's different with actors. We have to open up a lot quicker than most people do in real life. To deliver a dynamic performance the actors must get to know each other. Good theatre requires intimacy.

"Intimacy generally refers to the feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together. It is a familiar and very close affective connection with another as a result of a bond that is formed through knowledge and experience of the other. Genuine intimacy in human relationships requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability and reciprocity....."

That's what good actors do, .......good humans; take note, it works great in life as well

So, after a show, I tend to reflect on all the unique relationships. They go on forever, and they live in that short little time capsule which is only about a month. There have been many over the years and the family keeps getting bigger.  I would like to say, I love you all. I think of you when I hear a certain song, or see a certain picture. A piece of dialogue. These things live in my heart.

Ensemble

"There are no small parts, only small actors. " Stanislaviski
 
To some actors, being in the "ensemble" is not good enough. They want the lead parts only. In my opinion, those kind of actors maybe need to examine the real reason they want it so bad. But that's a different topic. What I'm trying to say is, being in the ensemble rocks! Especially when you know everyone is invested and creative and energetic. It's the best. The cool thing about it is that you can create your own character, almost completely out of your head. Make up your own story. Or even a different story every night. It's so fun.

  When you are called to be a performer, it's your joy to be on the stage. It should be when you feel most alive. It shouldn't matter how big your part is. Your part is as big as you make it.

  Needless to say, I'm having a blast at rehearsals for OKLAHOMA!! YEOW!!
I love the whole cast so much and the director, choreographer and musical director are really fantastic. This is a classic and our director is trying really hard not to make it cheesy, (which it can tend to be) and more realistic.  It is gonna be great I think. :-)

Role models past

I had a friend

Her name was Joan

I was dating her son

I got bit by a dog

He took me to Joan

She scrubbed the shit out of my leg with iodine

I still have the scar

And I think of her :-)


 I watched her make quite a change when I knew her

I was part of her life when she suffered great loss
I watched her make a beautiful transition

Because of her strength

She rose above her circumstances and got on with her life

Happy

With a new love and a new life

She was a role model

She was also my mother in law for about...mmmm....half a minute.

But I loved her

She made an impression on me

And it was all good

Rest in peace Joan  :-)